Reverse-Betrayl

I'm not a doctor or an expert on sex but I do know this..that an orgasm is like butter cream icing on a very chocolate cake... I really love when I have one but it's not often anymore..Let me start from the beginning of my very poignant sexual discovery...My sex life was great at least that's what I thought...I had two kids 2 sons 9 years apart so I thought I had my fair share of great uninterrupted sex, until I had an orgasm....WHOA!!! You know the sad thing is I thought I was having orgasms when my husband and I was going at it and I'm panting and moaning making him feel like he is really doing something great being submissive and letting him have his way...but I was so wrong..can you believe I was in my late 20's and had never yet experience an orgasm...The reason I knew I had never experience an orgasm was because when I did ...I thought I was cheating on my husband with my husband....I thought we had discovered a new sensation...it was mind blowing..At first I was looking at him in disbelief..I felt a little dirty in a oh so good way..I remembered even asking him, what just happen are you okay...I mean my mind went blank and I was so caught up in the sensation.  It was a  slow building sensation and  the more I move with my husband's rhythm it just kept intensifying until...I was making sounds that in my  normal self compose world would not happen aloud.. I laid in my bed after that moment,and stared at the ceiling...after my husband went to sleep I went straight to google....Typed in the search box how I felt and wanted to know what started that slow steady build up of pure ecstasy....once I pressed enter my sexual world was change forever..."Orgasm"...in every entry was the operative word...Oh my Gosh!!!at the ripe old age of 27 after 9 years of being sexually active I had my first Orgasm....I was stunned, how in the world could I have been an almost soon to be 30 year old women and not experience that...I have always heard that the reason we have drug attics is because once they get that first big hit...that takes them up to the sky...The are constantly trying to recreate that sensation which leads to drug abuse...Now I'm no junkie but I have a brother that has abused drugs for 17 years obviously trying to recreate his first Euphoria...that's some powerful control to steal a man's life for 17 years...But it wasn't until I had my first orgasm that I almost understood his most troubled life...the good thing about an Orgasm vs Drugs is that Orgasms can not only be recreated they can become greater....So Every time after that when I had sex if I didn't have an Orgasm I felt cheated in a way..I mean it really in the beginning got ridiculous I would actually secretly resent my husband if he started with the extra rubbing and and kissing that would break my rhythm...Now I'm not against foreplay..I love that because as I recalled that first night I had my experience we really took our time with the foreplay..I'm talking about that moment when he is about to satisfy himself..he starts the extra kissing and love tugs. 

Anyway fast forward from that first orgasm 10 years and 1 more child later...a beautiful daughter...the orgasms have been far and few between...Since that first time my life has become a unchanging emotional roller coaster...Friends with dwindling marriages and relationship that want more than a little bit of your time on the phone listening to their problems...Family members stopping by without calling, neighbors interrupting sex with small minor requests like borrowing sugar and ketchup...and a 1 teenager in the house...

If anyone out there no what I'm talking about please feel free to comment...If not I will be right back tomorrow complaining...